Happy Holidays, Dammit!

Welcome Future Minions! Perhaps you are thinking that this will be one of those "put the Christ back in Christmas" or "take the Christ out of Christmas" rants. It is neither. Frankly, I don't give a crap what holiday you celebrate, if any. You wanna have a secular holiday, fine. You plan your holidays around midnight Mass, go ahead. You light the menorah, or hang corn and list your blessings, okay with me. I really don't care if you wrestle the man of the house in the room with the aluminum pole in the corner. And neither should you. Here's a little secret for you: it's okay if other people celebrate other holidays at the same time you do. Another secret: it's okay if people celebrate the same holiday in a different way. Or not at all. What is important is that we're all being a little nicer to each other. Which is a good thing, because if one more idiot driving a little tiny sedan while blathering in a cell phone to her mom about how many presents she has left to buy and where can she find the Bratz battery-operated doucher because if she doesn't get it Christmas will be ruined and little Dakota will be emotionally crippled and unable to bond with her hairdresser cuts me off in traffic, I will go entirely apeshit and you will see footage of me on the national news driving my car back and forth over what used to be a little tiny sedan screaming "It's the eggplant download!" and laughing hysterically. Ha ha ha ha ha--EGGPLANT!